I downloaded this picture from Pinterest, but by the time I found it, there was no way to trace the original owner. I apologize for that, but it so beautifully shows the journey we are all on. Nobody has the same experience, even with the same type of cancer and the same treatment. Our past, present, support and overal attitude is to "blame", but that doesn't mean that we are walking this path alone.......
I am sorry I haven't been around, but as with many, these last 2 years have been awkward at best, but most of all trying :-) I made myself a promise in 2022, that no matter what, I would finish my story and even if it made one person feel better, I would have done what I set out to do almost 4 years ago. As this feels like a new start, I have deleted the previous posts, and added the original first post to this one. Below is the introduction post from March 2020. I will, once again, try and finish my story up to present day, but there's a lot going on, and I should not promise anything. It seems like everytime I have a plan, something crashes in the middle of it, scattering thoughts and intention to every possible cravace of my universe, so, please be patient, I'm doing my best :-)
Hi there,
The fact this blog came up in a search tells me you somehow have a
connection to this disease. You're not alone. Not in your search for
answers, not in your search for reassurance and not in your search for a
new "normal". Believe me when I say.... the normal you knew, is nowhere
near the normal you're going to have to live with, but I hope to help
you find your way a little, hold your hand and keep you thankful. I'm
not going to throw "fate" around and I'm not going to tell you about
faith, I'm not going to advocate one treatment over another, or try to
influence you in any way over how you travel your journey. What I will
do, is tell you about my journey of 10 years, the journey that "got" me
here, my thoughts, my hindsights, my wishes and my fears, but also my
findings ranging from food to comforts during and after my journey thru a
time in my life no-one wants to be a part of....... either as the traveler nor a
companion.
I started out having small problems, that I attributed to "getting
older" and "being out of shape" and odd things that can happen to anyone
and not mean a thing. Not being able to breathe in hot weather, or cold
weather, aches and pains for no determinable reason, off and on seeming
to get more and more tired but also sleeping bad, so not really that
surprising, having an upset stomach when eating certain foods, having to
work harder to keep my focus..... Not all the time though, so easily
dismissed. Than, in February 2009 I started having problems keeping any
food down, having problems thinking and concentrating and was generally
miserable. By the end of March, I was bedridden, with visits for one
test or another every other day, without any direction. When we finally
received the verdict on August 12th, it was devastating and at the same
time a relief... We had an answer!
I'm not sure how I'm going to set this blog up, and I may change
directions a couple of times, but my main goal is to help someone. Even
if one sentence gives one person relief, instigates that "Aha!" moment
or a smile...... I'll be so happy!
Don't forget to hug a loved one!
